He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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