I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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