she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
