everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
