Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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