You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
