It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
