I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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