Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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