i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
