where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Green mimosas i think yes
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Boobs speak an international language.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
