She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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