I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
