New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
