i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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