I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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