And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
