She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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