I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Jerry, you need to find god
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
