Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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