so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize