I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize