Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this boner is exhausting
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
