What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
