I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize