you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
