We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
