Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize