What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
