I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm really busy with my period
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