someone get that fucking seahorse.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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