I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize