dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
