I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
this hospital has no fireball
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
