WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
