You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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