we have officially lost it.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
