Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
