Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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