her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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