I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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