By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
