Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
