I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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