he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
