Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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