i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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