didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
