How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
