i don't plan on having that self control this summer
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
