How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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