I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
