trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
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Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
