Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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