just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
