been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
