I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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