The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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