They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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