i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
