As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
