some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
