But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize