Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
