so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
