His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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