That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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