i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize