Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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