My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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