Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
