I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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