so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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