And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
