Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
