I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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